Dear Philippa,

 

I have never much of one for board games, Scrabble and the like. Monopoly I particularly detest, so I was in two minds when my clever economist friend rang last Saturday evening to ask if we’d like to step over the road for a game with him, his wife and their daughter, Maddy. Apart from my loathing of the game it was half-past eight – close to my bedtime – but I’d just polished off a bottle of Shiraz, which made me bold and mellow so off we went. I’m glad I did, for I gained some insight into how the world’s economies work.

 

Once the initial squabbling over who would have the racing car counter was settled, the economist’s wife appointed herself Banker. I approved of this because she was at the other end of the table from Fiona, who is inclined to steal from the bank when other players are distracted, though the downside was that I couldn’t reach the cash either; my technique is furtively to slip my own money into the bank, a few hundred here and there, to accelerate my bankruptcy leaving me free to retire and have fun watching paint dry.

 

It was clear from the start that I had fallen among thieves. Before any dice were thrown Maddy was forbidden to collude with any player (Fiona was her target) in fraudulent enterprise for which she clearly had form, and I noticed that whenever the Banker went off for a comfort break she took the bank’s reserves with her. Not a good sign, and I have to say that Father and Daughter both carried on like graduates of the Enron School of Fiscal Probity. From the off the Economist embarked upon a reckless spending spree, investing in properties irrespective their merits and increasing his exposure by building houses and hotels, apparently without much in the way of strategic planning or risk assessment. I looked forward to watching him, maddened by greed, crash and burn in an explosive cocktail of hubris and sub-prime squalor. He won, of course, but not before he had driven family and friends into hopeless penury. 

 

So, if like me you make no claim to understanding high finance ferret out an economist, challenge him to a game of Monopoly and hope to see him, fascinated by the cleverness of his own footwork, come to grief. But, like me, you may be disappointed. You will perhaps be better informed, but you will be no wiser.

 

Best wishes,

 

Howard