Dear Philippa,

 

A bit of a confused start. When enquiries were made on my behalf at the District Council HQ as to the earliest date candidates are permitted actively to campaign we were told, verbally, Friday 25th of March. On reflection, and in light of other deadline dates that I had in writing, I wondered if this might not be correct so I toddled down there myself and asked again. There is no mandated “not before” start date – we can do as we like; the helpful lady from the Elections Department who told me this was a bit flustered as she was about to go and train a hundred people in fifteen minutes. When I told her that incorrect information had been previously given out she didn’t seem very interested, saying only “not by anyone in my department”. I thought – but did not say – you don’t work for your department, you work for our Council. Not a battle worth fighting I think, and not one likely to be won either.

 

But, much has been achieved. Fiona built me a website in about two days, which has been widely admired, and together we have written and revised leaflets and posters with which to litter the district. I collected them from the printer today. I’m a bit worried about the amount of red that has come up on my photograph (above); I look like a bit of a drinker. What I had hoped for, a resemblance to David Niven in his younger days, has not been achieved but instead I look like an enraged Alf Garnett. Still, it will have to do, I can’t afford to reprint, and anyway even with modern print technology and expensive German machines there are limits to what can be done.

 

I’m off to the Royal Oak tonight with a couple posters and a few leaflets where, in addition to drinking a bottle of Shiraz and eating a pie, I’ll try to perfect a style of patter that will excite the voters. I am thinking the shy charm approach will suit me best, with a hint of consumptive fatigue thrown in. That should do the trick.

 

The candidates from the two main parties, and from one that no longer exists, will be sporting rosettes in approved team colours but I shall be in episcopal purple. I bought them from a local saddlery that supplies them for horse-riding events – the roundel at the centre carries the word First, which I had thought to cover with a small photo of myself but given the bucolic effect I wonder if it’s wise.

 

Tomorrow I’m on the stump trying to persuade local shops to put up my poster.

 

Best wishes

 

Howard